


Distinction

by zarabithia



Category: Captain America (Comics), Marvel 616, Young Avengers
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-25
Updated: 2014-05-25
Packaged: 2018-01-26 10:22:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1684886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zarabithia/pseuds/zarabithia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Losing his grandfather is hard. But by the time Eli reaches the acceptance stage of grief, he's ready to accept another change in his life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Distinction

Eli would be the first to tell you that he hasn't dealt well with his grandfather's death. He's not entirely sure _how_ one deals _well_ with losing a man who has done so much to shape who Eli has become. But Eli knows that he hasn't quite achieved that particular state.

He's yelled at his team, yelled at Captain America (the Steve Rogers version, because his mind has always and will continue to make the distinction) and has just spent a lot of time at home with his grandma.

She keeps telling him it's not healthy to stay at home so much. "Death is a part of life, Elijah," she says. "But that doesn't mean you can let grieving take up all of yours."

He wants to argue with her, but his grandma looks so much _older_ now that Grandad has passed away, and Eli sees hundreds of wrinkles on her face that he's never noticed before. She's taken the full burden of _everything_ , so she must be so much stronger than he is, but every time Eli looks at her, he thinks of how old and fragile she looks.

So he does what she asks. He tells her, as he goes out, that he is going to visit his friends.

"Don't find any trouble," is her only advice.

Oh, how Eli _wants_ to. He thinks he could pound some of the hurt away on the right creep's face.

But the only creep around tonight is a middle-aged purse snatcher who gives up and actually starts to cry after the first punch. Eli calls the cops and feels genuinely cheated that the city can't cough up something to hit when he actually needs it to, for a change.

He's thinking about maybe going to go find his team and see if they are having more luck, when Bucky's motorcycle pulls up.

"Hey," Bucky says, by greeting. " 'Bout time you came out of hiding. Your team was offering to pay me to come dig you out."

Eli's not sure if Bucky's joking or not. He's also not sure if he should be flattered or angry at his friends for wanting to pry.

He settles on vaguely annoyed. "Family comes first," he says gruffly.

Bucky shrugs. "Team is family, to people like us."

"A different kind."

"Yeah - if you're normal, I guess that's how it works."

"I wasn't planning on ditching them, I just needed some time."

"They know that. You still want some time, or you want to grab something to eat?"

Eli accepts. Bucky seems pleasantly surprised, which just proves that Bucky is as clueless to Eli's feelings as Eli has always suspected.

While they wait on their burgers to arrive, Bucky sends news from both their teams and complains about how impossible it is to just get a "Regular, plain burger. Or a regular, plain chocolate milkshake." Eli smiles at the familiar complaint and Bucky offers, "That is one of the things that makes me sound old, huh?"

"I hadn't noticed," Eli answers.

Which is true, because when he's with Bucky, there's a lot of other things Eli's been noticing lately. That may have passed Bucky's radar, but Eli is on a team with two of the most obviously openly gay men in the superhero community. When his own feelings started to turn towards Bucky in that way...well, Eli knows there are probably several things people could say about him negatively, and truthfully.But he _isn't_ stupid.

It's been six months since he's started to feel his stomach twist in the familiar Kate-like way around Bucky, and seven months since he's stopped feeling like his heart was being ripped out of his chest each time Kate flirted with someone else.

He hasn't mentioned it, though. Not out loud, not to anybody. Because suddenly realizing you can be attracted to men is a big deal, especially when it happens just as your grandfather's health takes a turn for the worse.

Eli wonders what his grandfather would have thought, if Eli'd had time to tell. His grandfather's generation had ... different ideas about things. But his grandfather had also paid the price for his generation's faulty world view, so Eli is not so sure that he wouldn't have approved, after all.

Either way, Eli doesn't have the opportunity to ask him anymore. Eli doesn't want to run the risk of that happening with his grandmother, and he makes a vow, as their meals arrive, that he will tell her.

But he should probably bring it up with the object of his affection first.

He takes a deep breath and squeezes the edges of his table for support. Bucky looks over at him from atop his milkshake. "Something wrong, Eli? Besides the obvious?"

"Yeah." Eli clears his throat. "I think...there's something we need to talk about."


End file.
